The Ghosts Of Christmas Past

     Well I guess I made it through another one. Christmas has come and gone without an excess of trauma and life returns to what is generally considered normal around here.

     True to form, I left everything to the last minute. For the most part however, I didn't fret too much about it. Generally, I manage to pull off some form of Christmas for myself and my son every year. Christmas Day comes  whether I'm ready for it or not. I have found that making a reasonable effort is good enough. Fretting endlessly over every detail is ridiculous. I know of no one who suffered major trauma because they had to wait until Boxing Day to get a battery for their latest toy or gizmo. I know of no one who could not tolerate a turkey dinner because the cranberry sauce came from a can or was not served in the finest porcelain. For me, the reason for the holiday is to celebrate the birth of the Prince Of Peace. I don't think that His arrival was meant to cause stress and mayhem in the souls of those who would follow Him.

     I'm not a total slacker when it comes to this holiday and I have to admit that I do get caught up in the need to fulfil some of the expectations of those around me. But , if it all seems too much, I have no problem in stepping back and looking at the bigger picture. 

     I can remember the first time I stepped away from what was my tradition of the time. I was working in retail then and Christmas seemed a tiring time of stress and long hours. It was difficult to find the time to do the required shopping and, because of my job, I worked right up to Christmas Eve. Following that, I packed up my vehicle and spent three to four hours on the road to spend Christmas with my sister and her family. I would usually arrive fairly late at my sister's place on Christmas Eve and wake up the next morning with only a few hours sleep to celebrate Christmas with my two exuberant nephews. More than once, following the Christmas morning ritual, I would haul myself back to bed for some much needed sleep and only get up in time for Christmas dinner. The next day, I was on the road again because, as a retail salesperson, I had to be back for the boxing week sale. At that time in my life, Christmas was not a holiday but an endurance test.

     One year, I decided that I wasn't going to do my usual thing. I bought a few small gifts for the people around me that had been close to me during the year. I called my sister to let her know that I wouldn't be coming to her house.  She was a little disappointed but understanding of my situation. Call me a Grinch but I didn't buy gifts for my nephews that year. My sister and her husband provided well for the boys. Any gifts from me were, at best, unnecessary or at worst, inappropriate. I would be missed but my absence would not cause trauma.

     Christmas morning dawned bright and beautiful that year. My friend Karin, came by in the morning and we exchanged a few small gifts. I made a brunch for us and then she was off to fulfill family obligations. It was unseasonably warm that year and so, that afternoon, I took my bike out for a tour of the nature trails of a nearby park. It was pleasant being out in the sunshine, exchanging Christmas greetings with passers-by on the trails. I watched a young family feed chickadees and nuthatches. The brave little winter birds would take food right from their hands.

     Christmas dinner was a bit lonely but, not long afterwards, some of my musician friends came by for a visit. I was playing in a couple of blues bands in those days and it wasn't long before we gathered a few more souls from the underground blues brotherhood and had a nice accoustic jam that went til the wee hours of Boxing Day. For the first time since I was a kid, Christmas felt like an actual holiday. No stress. Just happiness,  laughter  and goodwill toward all. It is a feeling that I have tried to retain about Christmas ever since.

     I find the dichotomy of Christmas amusing. It's interesting to watch the stress filled faces at the mall as the sound system pipes in music about peace, love and goodwill. Well, it's over for another year. Sleep in heavenly peace.


                                                   ...more later

           

    
    

Mid Life Mayhem

         I took a roll of film into our local photolab for processing today. There was a time in my life when having a roll of film processed was not a noteworthy experience. This particular roll has about only eight or nine frames exposed on it, but it had been in the camera too long. It's been over two years since I have done any serious photography on film. I don't think this film will be my last one though. I have two rolls of 35mm and a roll of 120mm still languishing in my refrigerator. I just haven't felt nostalgic enough to use them. I'm having way to much fun with digital.

       That being said, I have to admit that I have a large suitcase full of colour prints and negatives stashed in my closet upstairs. I also have several binders filled with sheets of black and white negatives and contact sheets. To top it off, I have piles of colour slides tucked away in Kodak carousels. Last Christmas, in addition to this computer, I acquired a little unit that digitizes images from 35mm negatives and slides. Apart from testing it out with a couple of 35mm frames, I haven't put this digitizing unit to much use. The idea of digitizing 43 years of image making is a task that just seems too daunting. I acquired my first camera (an Imperial Instant Load 900) when I was eight years old. However, I couldn't help but feel the bite of another Canadian winter when I was out for my stroll today. Perhaps organizing all those photographs will be a good indoor activity through the cold months ahead.

       Maybe I'm just making excuses here, but I'm finding in my post March 2009 life, I don't want to spend a lot of time lost in nostalgia. In fact to a great degree, it is something I want to guard against. When talking with my ten year old son, I cringe every time I begin a story with the phrase "When I was your age..."   I find myself thinking,  "Oh my God! I've turned into my father!" I may be having a mid life crisis here, but I want to contribute what I can in the present with whatever knowledge and skills that I have acquired over my strangely spent life. That being said, as mid life crises go, I guess that renewing my interest in photography and pecking out a few blog posts is infinitely preferable to buying a powerful, overpriced muscle car. But damn those new Dodge Challengers look hot!... maybe in candy apple red... with a hemi engine...yeah, gotta have a hemi...and a six speed shifter....    


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 My first and latest cameras. I acquired the Imperial Instant Load in 1968. (Yup. I still have it) What is not in the picture are the dozens of cameras that came in between.

The two old girls. The Agfa Isola on the right was made in 1957. Both cameras still work perfectly, but 126 film for the Imperial is no longer available. I salvaged the Agfa from the garbage bin of a camera shop  where I used to work. 

The current arsenal.

                                                            

Starting Windows

     When I fire up my laptop it always says "Starting Windows". That is so true on many levels.Through the internet, I have managed to reconnect with many old friends and schoolmates. I think that I'm beginning to figure out why social networking sites like Facebook are so addictive. The people I connect with there are, for the most part, not people living in my immediate community, the small town I occupy now. They are, however, friends that have occupied any of a number of places where I have lived at some period of my life. It's interesting.

     What this technology has provided to me is a sense of community that was somehow lost along the way. Almost all of my Facebook friends are people with whom I've shared a good chunk of my life at one time or another. Perhaps it is different for the younger generation who have lived almost their entire lives with this technology. Perhaps the reason that teenagers and twenty-somethings always seem to be texting is that this is their community. Unlike my generation, it is a community which they have never lost to the propulsions and compulsions of relationships, marriages, universities, careers, family obligations etc. They can stay connected in ways that my generation could not have even dreamed of thirty years ago. Perhaps their sense of community will always be stronger for that reason.

     Alfred Lord Tennyson mused " I am a part of all that I have met." In this digital age, one could write, " I am an active part of all that I have met." Having "met" someone no longer reduces the experience to a period in one's personal history. At our choice we can continue realtionships in an ongoing manner. It is the social equivalent of having our cake and eating it too.

     So where does this leave me, a middle aged troglodyte just recently emerged from the cave? Almost in a state of joyous exuberance. I feel like a little kid who, after learning a new skill, jumps up and down saying "Look what I can do!"

     So far my personal technological renaissance has been interesting, at times frustrating,
sometimes heart warming, fascinating and  fun. Starting Windows Indeed!

                                                                                                                                                       

                                               ...more later
    
    

Some Thoughts On The Occupy Movement

     I want to make a few comments on the Occupy Movement. I regularly find posts on my Facebook page shared by various friends. In general, I am in favour of the protests. I don't know that I'm in favour enough to join them. In Canada at least, our economy is doing fairly well, all things considered. I am, however, concerned about a democratic system that allows a majority right wing government to exist to with less than half of the popular vote. Stephen Harper's political agenda is so Americanised it is frightening. His big brother style Omnibus Crime Bill is particularly disturbing and decidedly un-Canadian.
                                                                                                                                                                       
     I feel that the timing of the movement is very good and I like that, after a slow start, it is now getting some publicity. I think that it's high time that our political leaders and the fat cats who support them were put on notice. The so called 99% are getting pissed off. The corporate elite of this country and the rest of the industrialized world have been profiting from voter and consumer apathy for far too long. I think that the Occupy Movement may just be the catalyst of something far bigger and more powerful. Our exploitative culture of excessive greed is clearly unsustainable in the face of climate change and the need for a more equitable distribution of wealth and resources.

     The movement has been criticized  for not having a clear enough agenda in its protests. I believe that this is a good thing. If the movement puts the agenda of one of its component groups ahead of the others, the only result will be a great deal of in-fighting. This is exactly what the corporate elite and their political lapdogs want. It is the classic strategy of divide and conquer. Far better to present all grievances as having equal importance and merit and let the 1% sort out which ones they'll respond to first, thus turning the strategy of divide and conquer on to them.

     A great change in economic, industrial and social philosophy is long overdue. Whether this change comes about gradually or cataclysmically is fundamentally up to the political and corporate establishment against whom these protests are levelled. This initial protest may indeed fizzle and fade with the fickle nature of public interest. Even so, the political and corporate elite ignore these protests at their peril for the next round of protests will be that much more powerful and potent. I hope that they sit up and take notice. It is always wise to initiate change before situations reach crisis levels.

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Some Thoughts On Knowledge And Faith

     I've been thinking a lot lately about the whole concept of knowledge. This came about as a result of a discussion I had a while ago on a friend's Facebook page. A friend of this friend took me to task for, in his words, "a surfeit of emotional attachment coupled with a dearth of rational examination. "

     It got me thinking. Do rationalism and faith have to exist in mutual exclusivity? I would propose that they do not. Further, I would propose that not only are they not mutually exclusive but that they are co dependent.
    
     Here is where the nitty meets the gritty. All knowledge is based on faith. For rationalism to exist precludes a faith in the absolute power of rationalism.To that extent, (faith in an absolute power) rationalism could be classed as just another religion. The only difference between a raging religious zealot and a fervent rationalist is the God that they worship.

     Here is another gem I came to realize in my musings. All knowledge is based on the vagaries of perception and context. Here is an example. A while ago, my young son was learning about measurement in school. One of his assignments was to measure a standard piece of letter sized paper. This he did with a ruler and determined that the paper was 8½" X 11". Done. Then I asked him,  "How thick is it?" "Nobody can measure that Dad." I rummaged in my drawer for my micrometer. ( I do mechanical work for a living which is often done with tight tolerances. Hence my ownership of such a tool.) "I can." We measured the thickness of the paper and determined that it was .004" or 4 one thousandths of an inch thick. Needless to say he scored a bit of a coup when he presented his homework to his teacher the next day.

     The point of that anecdote is the verification that knowledge is dependent on perception and context. My son's knowledge of the piece of paper was limited by his perception of it as a two dimensional object since he knew of no way to measure its third dimension. Further, his knowledge was limited by the context of the school assignment which required only a two dimensional measurement of the paper.

     New scientific discoveries are made almost daily which discredit or disprove conventionally accepted concepts in the human database of knowledge.

     If there is no scientific proof or rational explanation for the existence of God or a God Force, one must also accept that there is no rational explanation or scientific proof for the existence of science .Since, as previously stated both are derived from nothing more than human faith.

     Anyone who has spent time with a two year old knows that the ultimate unanswerable question is "Why?".  "What are you doing?" "Making cookies." "Why?" "Because I think homemade cookies taste better." "Why?" "Because they don't have chemicals and preservatives in them like store-bought cookies." "Store-bought cookies taste good." "Yes, but these taste better." "Why?" At this point rational scientific analysis of the situation breaks down and, without realizing it, we ask the child to make a leap of faith. " I don't know. They just do." No further explanation. "They just do." Invariably the little urchin has to take one more crack at blowing the safety valve off the steam dome...... "Why?"

     In my misspent youth, I tried to make a rational analysis of belief in some form of a higher power. Ultimately, I found that the exercise was almost as pointless as trying to analyse why homemade cookies taste better.

     Back to the toddler; "Do you believe In God?" "Yes." "Why?" "I don't know. I just do. And by the way..... homemade cookies taste better too!"


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First Attempt At A Blog

     I am fairly new to current technology. Last summer I purchased my first digital camera. With it, I took pictures of the short vacation I took with my son. I also did a series of fall colour photos. I enjoyed this new approach to photography, making prints at the Kodak Picture Kiosk found at our local drugstore. In what seems like another lifetime, I was a photographer using conventional 35mm and medium format film technology. I was amazed at the quality which could be achieved with an eighty-nine dollar camera purchased at the local Canadian Tire Store.                                                                                                                                                                                 At Christmas I completed my leap into the 21st century with the acquisition of laptop computers for me and my son. I connected with the internet and learned the addictive compulsions of Facebook and Gmail. I also had a place to download and play with my pictures. I have been toying with the idea of writing a blog for some time and, while out for a walk the other day, decided to try my hand at it. I trust that anyone reading this in the realm of cyberspace will be forgiving in their critique or commentary with the realization that this is a first attempt .      

      For my birthday this year, i decided that I wanted another digital camera. What I wanted was a compact digital camera with a conventional viewfinder. As previously stated, I am an old school photographer and about the only thing that I dislike about digital photography is the business of holding the camera ten inches away from my face to look at the lcd screen. It is a lot more difficult to hold a camera steady that way. I was taught to always hold a camera close to your body with elbows tucked in to form a sort of human tripod. The steadier the camera, the sharper the picture.

     My budget would not allow the purchase of a sophisticated dslr camera and, with much research and window shopping on the net, I found that the only company making a compact point and shoot with a conventional viewfinder is Canon. (For you photo hounds out there it is the Canon Powershot A1200.)  From the Canon website I linked to a local photographic retailer. A quick phone call to a pleasant young lady at the store confirmed that, while they didn't have that model in stock, they had it on order and where expecting two of them that afternoon. Thus the plans for my birthday were set. My son and I would go out to dinner at a restaurant near the camera shop and then pop over to get my gift. Simple. 

     Dinner was nice and, when we got to the camera shop,  I found that to my dismay, I had forgotten to write down the model number of the camera I wanted. I tried to describe it to the clerk. (I refuse to call him a salesperson.) He assured me repeatedly that no one made a compact camera with a viewfinder. I repeatedly told him that Canon did make such a camera and that I was talking to a young lady this morning who told me that they would have two of them in stock. The clerk told me that he had never heard of such a camera and was sure they didn't stock them. He then took his limited product knowledge to go serve another customer. I was about to leave the store but took a quick scan of the showcase before I left. There, at the very front of the showcase, were the two cameras that the first salesperson had said would be there! I waited patiently while the clerk finished dazzling the other customer with his charm and brilliance and pointed to the cameras in the showcase. I asked him if I could look at one as I was pretty sure it was the camera I wanted. He unpacked one and put some batteries into it so we could try it out. He was somewhat chagrined as I put the camera to my eye and pointed out the viewfinder. I told him that I would take one and as he was about to pack the camera back in it's box, I told him that I would take the one that was still boxed up. I suggested that since he had store batteries in the first one, he should keep it as a store demo model. Perhaps he could learn about it in his spare time. I politely declined the offers of a case and the extended warranty and left with my purchase.

 

     I suppose that the reason I wanted to relate this story is to make a point of how technology has changed things. Instead of making photographic images on film. I now use pixels. What used to take me hours in a darkroom, I can now do in minutes on a computer. Though far from being a tech savvy person, I could do my homework and walk into a store knowing more about the product I want and about the store's inventory than the clerk behind the counter. I had been to the manufacturer's website. I had checked out the product's spec. sheet. I had even taken a virtual tour of the camera! I guess that what caught me off guard was that in this "information age" how little actual knowledge that the clerk had. I spent a good chunk of my life working in camera shops in the days of film. I know that the number one rule is that you don't argue with a customer. If he thinks you have it in stock, check your inventory. If you don't know about a product he wants, check the catalogue. (Or nowadays check the manufacturer's website.) If you don't have it in stock, offer to order it for him or show him a comparable product. If you don't know about something, admit you don't know but offer to find out and then do it. Things may have changed, but the basic rules of good customer service are still the same.

 

    My plan B was to simply order the camera from Canon's E store.The price was the same and they offered free shipping. I would have had to wait a day or two for delivery but that is a minor concern. Maybe things have changed. Maybe the way I do business should change too.

 

 

                                                                          ...more later