True to form, I left everything to the last minute. For the most part however, I didn't fret too much about it. Generally, I manage to pull off some form of Christmas for myself and my son every year. Christmas Day comes whether I'm ready for it or not. I have found that making a reasonable effort is good enough. Fretting endlessly over every detail is ridiculous. I know of no one who suffered major trauma because they had to wait until Boxing Day to get a battery for their latest toy or gizmo. I know of no one who could not tolerate a turkey dinner because the cranberry sauce came from a can or was not served in the finest porcelain. For me, the reason for the holiday is to celebrate the birth of the Prince Of Peace. I don't think that His arrival was meant to cause stress and mayhem in the souls of those who would follow Him.
I'm not a total slacker when it comes to this holiday and I have to admit that I do get caught up in the need to fulfil some of the expectations of those around me. But , if it all seems too much, I have no problem in stepping back and looking at the bigger picture.
I can remember the first time I stepped away from what was my tradition of the time. I was working in retail then and Christmas seemed a tiring time of stress and long hours. It was difficult to find the time to do the required shopping and, because of my job, I worked right up to Christmas Eve. Following that, I packed up my vehicle and spent three to four hours on the road to spend Christmas with my sister and her family. I would usually arrive fairly late at my sister's place on Christmas Eve and wake up the next morning with only a few hours sleep to celebrate Christmas with my two exuberant nephews. More than once, following the Christmas morning ritual, I would haul myself back to bed for some much needed sleep and only get up in time for Christmas dinner. The next day, I was on the road again because, as a retail salesperson, I had to be back for the boxing week sale. At that time in my life, Christmas was not a holiday but an endurance test.
One year, I decided that I wasn't going to do my usual thing. I bought a few small gifts for the people around me that had been close to me during the year. I called my sister to let her know that I wouldn't be coming to her house. She was a little disappointed but understanding of my situation. Call me a Grinch but I didn't buy gifts for my nephews that year. My sister and her husband provided well for the boys. Any gifts from me were, at best, unnecessary or at worst, inappropriate. I would be missed but my absence would not cause trauma.
Christmas morning dawned bright and beautiful that year. My friend Karin, came by in the morning and we exchanged a few small gifts. I made a brunch for us and then she was off to fulfill family obligations. It was unseasonably warm that year and so, that afternoon, I took my bike out for a tour of the nature trails of a nearby park. It was pleasant being out in the sunshine, exchanging Christmas greetings with passers-by on the trails. I watched a young family feed chickadees and nuthatches. The brave little winter birds would take food right from their hands.
Christmas dinner was a bit lonely but, not long afterwards, some of my musician friends came by for a visit. I was playing in a couple of blues bands in those days and it wasn't long before we gathered a few more souls from the underground blues brotherhood and had a nice accoustic jam that went til the wee hours of Boxing Day. For the first time since I was a kid, Christmas felt like an actual holiday. No stress. Just happiness, laughter and goodwill toward all. It is a feeling that I have tried to retain about Christmas ever since.
I find the dichotomy of Christmas amusing. It's interesting to watch the stress filled faces at the mall as the sound system pipes in music about peace, love and goodwill. Well, it's over for another year. Sleep in heavenly peace.
...more later
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